you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
Randomize
