I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
