is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
