What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
honey bunches of taint.
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
