alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
