she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
