ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
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