I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
Woke up naked in another mans house. If that keeps happening, then I probably need to go gay. You know to make it ok.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
