I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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