my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
