If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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