that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
