Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
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