she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
We need a shit load of segways right now
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
