new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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