Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
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