And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Randomize
