I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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