No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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