you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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