I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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