Where are you?
In a non slutty way
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
