im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
Randomize
