Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
