lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
