Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Why is your signature on my underwear?
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
