Just cropdusted the office
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
