he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
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