I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
