When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
I just got a call from the front desk apparently one of my feiends was dropped off by a handicap bus passed out in a wheel chair unlv is goig down
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Randomize
