I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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