He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
Randomize
