I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
