I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
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