is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
I offered to trade my cat for a bottle of tequila as long as it had a handle on it and realized I had a problem
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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