so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
Randomize
