two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You attempted what you called the "Long Island Heist", in which you shoved a half glass of Long Island down your pants and asked me to help you sneak it out. That drunk.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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