I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
