she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
