Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
I skipped work to stalk him.
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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