My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
