the vacuum is drunk
what?
i spilled my drink and tried to vacuum it and now the vacuum is drunk
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
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