Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
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