big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
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