So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize