nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
