So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just want to make out with him forever
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
