ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Randomize
