On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
oh well at that point I was already depressed with life because I had watched the bratz movie.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Randomize
