We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
Randomize
