Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
What time are you coming? Can you stop and get mouse traps and trojans?
You have mice?
no why?
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize