Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
