Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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