Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
