Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
