Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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