Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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