I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
