I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
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figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
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Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
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