Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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