the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
