you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
