I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
